EDIT: Turns out it’s trouble to replicate the pictures – but trust me, the truck was seriously ugly.

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-tallahassee craigslist > for sale / wanted > cars & trucks – by owner

UGLY TRUCK SEEKS SOMEONE TO TOUGHEN UP – MAKE YOU TOUGH LIKE A BEAR! – $1 (Barwick, GA)

Date: 2011-08-18, 11:37AM EDT
Reply to: sale-nhqdg-2553250303@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

BUY IT FOR YOUR WIMPY SON! HE WILL LEARN TO DRIVE STICK, OR ELSE! HE WILL LEARN TO WORK HARD, OR HE WON’T BE ABLE TO AFFORD THIS 15 MPG FUEL-SUCKER! HE WILL LEARN TO BE CAREFUL WHERE HE PUTS HIS HANDS, OR THE CENTER CONSOLE WILL FALL OFF, EXPOSING A SHARP SPRING! WHICH WILL CUT HIM! HE WILL LEARN TO FIGHT OFF TETANUS!

YOU NEED A GREEN TRUCK WITH A RED DOOR FOR YOUR WIMPY SON! OR DAUGHTER! OR NEPHEW! OR JUST DRIVING AROUND THE YARD LIKE A GIANT AIR-CONDITIONED GOLF CART WITH A HUGE STORAGE AREA!

THIS TRUCK WILL MAKE YOU NERVOUS! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT MECHANICALLY EXCEPT BEING NERVOUS!

THIS TRUCK HAS A CRACK IN THE WINDSHIELD!
THIS TRUCK IS A PIRATE!
THIS TRUCK HAS UGLY PAINT!
THIS TRUCK IS EINSTEIN’S CAR’S GREAT-GREAT-GRAND-TRUCK!
THIS TRUCK HAS A BUSTED TAILLIGHT AND A DENTED TAILGATE THAT WORKS FINE!
THIS TRUCK HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR TEETH!
THIS TRUCK HAS NO HEADLINER!
THIS TRUCK DATED BRITNEY SPEARS (AFTER K-FED, SORRY)!
THIS TRUCK HAS NO SUN VISORS AND IS NOT A FRAT BOY!
THIS TRUCK NEEDS 1 BOTTLE OF POWER STEERING FLUID EVERY FEW WEEKS!
THIS TRUCK LOVES CHICKEN NUGGETS!
THIS TRUCK HAS MANUAL WINDOWS!
THIS TRUCK ALSO HAS A BLACK BELT IN WING CHUN KUNG FU!
THIS TRUCK HAS ONE GREEN DOOR AND ONE RED DOOR THAT LEAKS A LITTLE IN HARD RAIN! DRIVER’S SIDE!
THIS TRUCK IS ENDORSED BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND BY DENNIS LEARY’S CORGI!
THIS TRUCK HAS A WINDSHIELD WIPER THAT FELL OFF! PASSENGER SIDE!
THIS TRUCK HAS BEEN REPLACED IN MY HEART BY A CAR!

THUS, THIS TRUCK IS A ’95 DODGE DAKOTA! THIS TRUCK HAS 276K MILES!

THIS TRUCK’S OWNER’S CELL PHONE’S NUMBER IS 206-651-4368!

KINDA SILLY BUYERS ONLY! OR SERIOUS IS FINE TOO! JUST DON’T MAKE ME SEND YOU A LOADED TORTILLA TRAP IN THE MAIL!

ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS OR BEST OFFER! GROWING UP TOUGH IS PRICELESS! YOUR SON WILL BECOME RICH LIKE ANDREW CARNEGIE!

• Location: Barwick, GA
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2553250303

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I was ordering some Smartwool socks for Dad for a Christmas present (We aren’t bad kids, he specifically asked for them), and www.e-omc.com happened to have the lowest price, so I placed my order. In the ‘special instructions’ field, I wrote this:

“Please include hand-drawn instructions for installing socks on feet.”

Yes, this childish behavior is normal for me.

When we got the package, here’s what we found!

In our family, we all take turns opening one present at a time on Christmas morning. When Dad got to this one, it brought the house down.

Thanks mystery shipper at OMC! You certainly made our Christmas much funnier.

Here are a few reasons I love them:

1. Domes are a strong and sturdy shape. Domes support themselves, and in such an intuitive way that the Romans figured it out thousands of years ago (the Roman Arch) without computers. This means you don’t need interior load-bearing walls, because there IS no load. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arch Whether we’re talking about a geodesic dome, a monolithic dome, or some modular variant, they are STRONG.

2. Domes are beautiful. Well, I think they are. You can make such organic shapes when starting from a dome. Whether building a one-dome structure, or a cluster, they’re always striking.

3. Domes are efficient. Heating and cooling bills are almost always at least 40% lower than in cube-shaped buildings. Air circulates naturally, outside surface area is lower than a cube (by about 30%), and you save money as a result. When you consider the fantastic equation of DOME + INSULATED CONCRETE, savings continue to build – most concrete-built dome houses require about 1/3 the normal tonnage for environmental control. This is partly due to shape, partly due to materials, and partly due to good insulating. The monolithic (‘one stone’) construction method means no cracks and no chinks. Concrete has such a high thermal mass, it’s almost like building underground. Note: in order to best use concrete’s thermal mass, it must be insulated on the outside.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermal_mass

4. Concrete domes are wind-proof. (Even geodesics are very wind-resistant due to shape.) http://www.domeofahome.com/ is a good example – the home on their front page withstood Hurricane Andrew with no damage to the dome. Andrew hit the rest of Florida for about $25 billion. (info about hurricane Andrew here: http://www.hurricanecity.com/andrew.htm ) Tornadoes? I LIVE IN A GIANT SMOOTH ROCK, MR TORNADO. There are plenty of cases in which owners of dome houses report minimal or no damage when everyone else around has been hit hard. FEMA rates concrete domes as ‘near absolute protection against F5 tornadoes and category 5 hurricanes.

5. Earthquakes? Safest construction possible. The same shape that makes them so strong from a load-bearing standpoint also makes them highly resistant to load-shifting and lateral stresses. I-Domehouse makes domes from STYROFOAM that stand up to Japan’s (very strict) building codes. OK, well, they aren’t technically styrofoam, and they are sprayed with concrete, but it’s cool to say.

6. ‘Hurricane and tornado-proof’ not enough? Want to add ‘fireproof’? Just build your dome from concrete, and you’ll be darn close. Regular old concrete is fully oxidized, and therefore cannot burn. It holds its strength up to about 1300º F, too. Above that temperature, you don’t want to keep the heat on too long. Most wood, on the other hand, will burn at 530º F. Big difference! If you’re really concerned about high temperatures (maybe you want to build your house inside a jet engine, or a bomb?) there are even more heat-resistant concrete mixtures readily available. Note: this is a benefit of practically all concrete or brick construction, not just domes. Keep the roof in mind, though – domes don’t really have one, so they’re that much safer!

7. Heat wave making your neighbors sweat? Invite them over – your dome will be cool, calm, and collected during the hottest times of day. That high thermal mass at work again.

8. Flooding can even be somewhat alleviated by all-concrete construction, due to the fact you don’t need drywall. It’s not much, but it’s something.

9. Volcano erupting under your foundation? A dome will just levitate itself to safer – OK, never mind. But it will look pretty cool toppling into the lava.

10. With ‘airformed’ concrete domes, you can build even in bad weather – once you inflate the airform, you go inside to spray concrete! (PS wet concrete will devour your flesh and burn off your everything if you are not careful with exposure and masks. Like going swimming in Drano. All standard concrete precautions apply doubly when working inside.)

So: Safe, safe, safe. Very efficient. Strong. Cool-looking, if you’re into it. Cloud Hidden and I-Domehouse have many domes I find beautiful.

Disadvantages? Why yes, there are a few.

1. Good luck trying to get a loan to build one. Domes are downright rare, and it’s hard to get them appraised without making unusual exceptions. Some of the dome builders/fabbers know of flexible banks, but you need to consider that financing may be unavailable. I’m studying the possibilities of building so inexpensively that financing isn’t needed, but I’m just starting.

2. Building codes often don’t account for domes. Furthermore, many bureaucrats have the mentality, “If it’s out of the ordinary, it’s out.” This can make the approval process lengthy and discouraging. A good engineer familiar with dome construction is your friend.

3. Humidity and stale air can cause serious long-term issues in monolithic construction, due to the lack of seams. If your HVAC unit is too large, (and remember that 1/3 number), it may cycle many many times instead of being able to turn on and stay on for a while. Size your HVAC properly, and consider a dehumidifer a necessary expense.

4. Neighbors, associations, and realtors: None of them know anything about domes, and they may be taken aback. Count on mounting an education effort to maintain goodwill, and looking far afield for a buyer if selling your home. Again, I’m starting to study inexpensive construction methods (selling is easier if you paid less originally!), but that may or may not come to fruition.

5. Expertise is difficult to find locally. Expect to be MUCH more involved with construction of a dome than with a normal house. I don’t even plan on building a house first, I’m going to build a shed!

And now for the real reason I’m writing this: The Links. I kind of wanted all my collected links in one spot, and I figured others might be interested as well. I also figured others might GET interested, but no pressure or anything. We’ll still be cool.

Concrete-based dome resources:

MDI uses airforms, and have lots of great articles on their site. Their construction methods yield an initial construction cost similar to brick construction, but give big monthly energy savings.

http://bbs.monolithic.com/ goes straight to MDI’s forums. Pretty cool. Over 20,000 posts.

DomTec builds industrial storage domes using airforms.

I-Domehouse builds really cool looking residential domes in Japan (I think the pieces are manufactured in South Korea, though.) This is a fun website to explore. Lots of good visuals and ideas. If I could figure a way to do this inexpensively in America, or find someone else already doing it, I’d be so happy. They also have a Japanese-language-only site at http://www.dome-house.jp/ – which I have more difficulty navigating… They mention how their construction is ‘cheap’, but it looks really expensive for the square footage for me: $40k USD for ~390 square feet. And that’s just for the shell!

http://www.safeharbordome.com/domecosts.html is a couple that built an MDI home, and lists their costs. The rest of the site is solid, too.

Mountainview Dome is another couple that details their construction and lists their contractors.

Flying Concrete isn’t just domes, it’s architectural sculpting with concrete. Cool stuff.

Grancrete, Gigacrete, and Mortarsprayer all are involved in sprayed-concrete applications (necessary for monolithic concrete construction), and Mortarsprayer has articles and a good resource list.

Jim at Cloudhidden built his own amazing multi-dome house, and now designs them professionally. Great portfolio.

American Ingenuity Domes does really cool stuff with (partially) concrete panels, and can ship you prefab homes assembled onsite very rapidly. Lots and LOTS of information on their site. Pricing information and calculators are solid, and they even have a page of ‘domes for sale’ (not just AI domes, either) across the USA.

NON-CONCRETE dome resources:

Natural Spaces Domes is a great company doing traditional geodesic wood-and-metal framed houses. Great site.

DelTec is a tremendously cool house company – these aren’t EXACTLY domes, but they sure are awesome.

Montello Alpaca Co is the website of a couple that built their own rammed-earth ‘superadobe’ style house in the shape of a dome. Good story.

GeoDomeHome is focused on 3rd-world building.

NON-DOME resources:

Earthship is a site that focuses on making houses self-sustaining by recycling water multiple times, using passive heating and cooling when possible, insulating thoroughly, and generating one’s own electricity. Fascinating if you’re into ‘off-the-grid’ mentality.

Straw Bale Gardening is some pretty amazing stuff. Grow your own veggies, move ‘em around as needed, AND get a longer growing season! Short snip from his website:

“Can I do this where I live? The short answer here is absolutely yes.  This method of gardening works very well from the Artic Circle, to the heat of the Caribbean.  If you can find bales of straw, or similar bales of organic material, you can garden this way.  You are simply replacing your existing soil with a “container” filled with beautiful “conditioned” straw compost as your growing media.  From the desert to the rainiest places, from the hottest to the coldest, if anything grows then this method of growing will work for you”

My ultimate goal here is to figure out how to build ‘normal’ (I.e. non-hippie) concrete dome houses for around $10k-15k/400 square feet. I’m talking on-the-grid, wiring, HVAC, and real plumbing. That’s big enough (by many standards) to live in, but doesn’t break the bank. Really, that’s just $60k/1200 square feet! I’d love to have a construction method that almost anyone in the US could take advantage of, without having a mortgage hanging over their heads for 30 years. For example, if someone couldn’t afford this out-of-pocket and HAD to get a loan, if they got one for 3.5%, $15k, 5 years, they’d pay $298/month. Then in 5 years THEY WOULD OWN THEIR HOUSE. Wouldn’t that be cool? Yes.

I’d love to update this page with lots more great resources. Let me know if you find any!

“…It’s easier to blame the United States…” – OK, yes, that’s a valid point. BUT: If drugs were legalized and taxed here in the US, several things would happen almost instantly:

1. Prices would drop dramatically, leaving the cartels with much less income, and consequently less power. Same goes for terrorists using narcotics for the bulk of their income. Prohibition single-handedly created the Mob here in the US. The reason prices would drop? Simple: The danger of operating illegally is gone, thus you don’t have to pay high prices for bully-boys and smugglers, so anyone can get into the game. Home growers can get in, Americans can get in, so forth and so on. (I see now that this is really the same point as #3.)

2. Anyone operating legally wouldn’t need to keep violence near-at-hand, thus dramatically lowering the amount of drug-related violence here in the US.

3. Domestic producers would take some market share from Mexican cartels, further reducing their income and power. What’s more, domestic producers are much easier to keep an eye on than Mexican producers/shippers.

4. We’d have a large new tax base.

5. Law enforcement could focus on violence and fraud.

6. Some folks here would start doing drugs, because the illegality was the only thing stopping them before.

7. Some folks here would stop doing drugs, because the illegality was a big part of why they did it before.

8. We would have the ability to reduce the size of the federal government. (…yeah, right.)

I certainly don’t think legalizing drugs would ‘solve the drug problem’. I understand that addicts become desperate, that people do bad things in general, and that people almost always hurt themselves and their families when they use drugs. However, I think the current ‘solution’ is much worse than the problem. It’s time to end the drug prohibition, and rob the cartels of their power and influence.
Your thoughts, please! Please note which number you are referring to when replying.

Well wouldn’t that be boring! And fortunately, it’s not the case. We live in a world where everyone thinks and feels differently, and where it’s rare you know just HOW differently they are processing information.

UNfortunately, this fact means we miscommunicate a LOT. Usually not on purpose… but think of all the times when simple miscommunication has caused problems for you in the past.

One way this shows up a lot in thinking is in giving directions. I’m sure you know people who have a hard time with directions, and others who are great with them, but can’t for the life of them tell YOU how to get somewhere. All these people are processing information differently inside their heads, almost like some of them are speaking Spanish to themselves, others are speaking Chinese, and others are speaking English.

Emotionally, these differences become obvious when you find yourself thinking, “Why did he get upset over that?” or “Boy, I don’t think I’d be able to laugh about that like she just did.”

How would you like to learn to think in other ‘mental languages’? Can you imagine how much easier it would be to understand others, and even persuade them, if they didn’t have to translate your words into their own language? Do you think they might even enjoy that, because you ‘get’ them so much better than most? What if you could instantly tell whether someone is lying to you?

You’re in luck. That’s exactly what Social Calibration is all about.

Social Calibration covers many different fields of study and many techniques, but at its heart, it’s all about learning to think and feel in the same ways other people do. I’ll go over a few of them briefly here.

Positions of Power – PoP are fairly simple to explain, but powerful to experience – the day I learned about these, I used them to get out of a $150 parking ticket! They can be broken down into Dominant/Equal/Subordinate, but each position can have almost infinite ‘flavors’. (For instance, teacher/student is one flavor of dominant/subordinate, but warden/prisoner is hopefully a very different flavor!)

Expression Reading (Micro-Expressions and Subtle Expressions): The show ‘Lie To Me’ claims to be all about this. In reality, there are other issues that come into play, but it’s certainly not impossible to know the amount of things they know about people. Just don’t expect anyone to confess just because you tell them they look contemptuous and angry!

Primary Representational Systems – otherwise known as ‘Sensory Modalities’. Sight, Hearing, and Feeling are the three biggies here. It’s difficult to frame most thoughts in terms of smell and taste, so we don’t. (Some folks go so far as to claim feelings are really the only important one – even if the others seem more important. I disagree.)

Sensory Submodalities: How does the person experience the thought of something they see? Large, small, close, faraway, color, black and white, bright, dim, sharp, fuzzy, moving, still, 1st-person, 3rd-person, etc. Same goes for hearing and feeling.

Handwriting Analysis: Where does the person cross their small ‘t’? The height of that cross translates directly to the height of their self-esteem. And that’s just one of hundreds of things you can tell from handwriting analysis. Want to know if there’s a tendency to lie, or tell secrets? It’s right there on the page. Want to know if they have anger toward the opposite sex, and get bored if their relationship loses its challenge? Plain as day, it’s easy to spot when you know what to look for.

Core Needs Profiling: Which of the 5 profiles does this person feel the need for, or feel the need to prove to themselves? Some people need to prove they are secure, some need to prove they belong, etc. By understanding this, you will have a deeper level of knowledge than most psychologists do about their patients.

Satir Coping Stances: How does this person act out when they’re under stress? Blaming, Placating, Computing, and Distracting are all coping techniques learned at young ages, but they stick with us most of our lives, unless we work to level and be emotionally honest without damaging the people around us. This doesn’t necessarily mean “Telling the truth with words”, but something deeper – leveling is about being whole and healthy even when others are acting out.

Body Rhythm Reading: Everyone has a speed of thought, but it comes out in their movements, their speech, even in the words they use. Use these rhythms effectively, and you can make them much more comfortable.

There are so many ways of understanding the mental languages others use – and so many languages to learn! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my learning in Social Calibration so far, and look forward to learning more. Hopefully you can enjoy it too!

reposted 5-7-2011

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

Patter, Intent, Flexibility, and Calibration are what makes a great hypnotist great.

—

Patter smoothness comes with practice. This is what is meant when you hear some hypnotists say, “I’ve hypnotized my pillow hundreds of times.” This is the ‘linking language’ that takes you from each successful step to the next, as well as ‘thinking language’ that gives you a moment to decide on the next successful step.

—

Intent means partly that you have a clear outcome in mind for each action you take. If you don’t know what you want, then you’ll never know if you’ve got it. Many mistakes are made regarding intent. Perhaps even most mistakes fall under this heading. The technique you use to get someone to the goal is not even slightly important, as long as you’re getting them to the goal.

Split Intent covers many issues, from confidence issues to ulterior motive issues. Your hypnotee WILL feel your intent, whether they realize it or not. Singlemindedness makes for EXCELLENT hypnotists.

—

Calibration comes from watching the right things carefully. You must not be inside your head, thinking about everything if you are to calibrate well. You must be focused on the hypnotee, noticing their breathing, their eyes, their facial movements, their body language in general.

One of the biggest reasons that practicing Patter is crucial is because if you are focused on your own thoughts, you cannot focus on the hypnotee. Get the Patter down pat, so you can place your focus squarely where it will be most effective.

—

Flexibility is what Calibration, Patter and Intent allow you to have:when you keep your goal in mind, and notice if things are going differently than your expectation, Flexibility lets you change things swiftly to correct course/change course. The most common need for Flexibility arises as an issue of speed. Some hypnotees process instructions very quickly, others process very slowly. The operator must Calibrate to this, and Flex as needed.

Vocabulary is another big spot where the operator needs to be Flexible. I hear lots of hypnotists trying to sound ‘smart’ (myself occasionally included!) when it’s not necessary. Big words get in the way of some hypnotees’ thinking processes.

Preferred senses are also important – if you hear a hypnotee talking about feelings forever, it’s a good bet you’ll get through to them better by using ‘feeling’ words, instead of ‘seeing’ or ‘hearing’ words.

Phenomena production (everything from locked eyelids to hallucinations) is the other spot where Flexibility is vital. When something isn’t going the way you expect, a large repertoire lets you change things up mid-stream and use a technique easier for the hypnotee to understand.

—

Anyway, that’s my opinion, and it works for me so far. What works for you?

reposted 5-7-2011

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

Every week brings me lots of new ideas. Some are related to existing concepts, some are for other people, some are ridiculous, and some are completely new.

I love the line from Hook when Smee says to Captain Hook, “Sir, I’ve just had an apostrophe!”

“I believe you mean an epiphany.”

“Lightning has struck my brain!”

“That must have hurt.” (Note: He is only correct if you sit up in, and fall out of, bed.)

I find I use creativity in several ways. One way is helping others enhance their own ideas. The second way is enhancing my ideas. The third way is coming up with totally new ideas (New to me, that is.)

Here’s the tricky part for me: There’s no way to force creativity! I’ve wanted to be a creative problem-solver for years, but there were certain conditions that had to be met in each realm I wanted to operate before that could happen.

Here are the conditions as I understand them today.

A.) Desire and Clarity: For a long time now, one of my goals has been to run my own business. Trouble was, I hated marketing. I mean, I didn’t get bloody-eyed and screamy about it, but was distasteful, a pain in the neck, and I wanted nothing more than to ignore it and focus on what my business was REALLY about. Riiiiight. It took WAY longer than it ‘should have’ for me to realize that Business Is Marketing, and longer still to accept that truth emotionally.

Once it clicked (what Havi Brooks on her blog calls ‘hot buttered insights’), I was able to dive in to the necessary learning with gusto. It was only at that point that I made the switch from a ‘technician’ mindset (per E-Myth Revisited) to a ‘business owner’ mindset. I’m sure I have many more lessons to learn on these lines.

B.) Expertise/Experience: Having gusto didn’t make me magically good at anything, unfortunately! I recently tallied up the cost of my marketing education, and I’ve now spent over $45,000 learning marketing. WHEW. And it’s been strung out over more years than it needed to be, due to my refusal to get with the program. I was spending money on marketing even before I liked it, but the money wasn’t nearly as well spent as my marketing money is now.

I realized that I wanted to be great at creating deals, joint venture ideas, and marketing campaigns. So I started looking for mentors who amazed my with their skill in these areas. I found one in my long-time friend Mark Buckman, and went to work for him part-time so I could get in his head. I learned SO MUCH from him in the 9 months I worked at his building company. I found that by the end of that period, my brain was firing in cool new ways.

C.) Natural Opportunity: Creativity works best when you don’t hamper it or force it into a box. My creativity loves to come out and play when I lie down to sleep, so I just try to make sure I have a little extra time for the “Brain Lightning.” If I’m in a period when I need lots of new insights, that means “Think Naps.” A Think Nap is restful, yes, but the point isn’t to fall asleep. The point is to relax my brain and let the Brain Lightning happen, so I don’t stay up waaaay too late writing stuff down (or worse yet, ignoring the Brain Lightning entirely!)

D.) Effective Action Levers: My creativity gets pouty and childish when I don’t indulge it and show it the results of its hard work. If I don’t actually write down the ideas I get, the Brain Lightning refuses to show up again until I’ve done penance. Writing down ideas is important, because it’s a form of action. I get confused, depressed, and annoyed when I stay on the same idea for a long period of time. If I don’t actually take action on my ideas, I start feeling useless!

I use a few tools to collect ideas:

1.) Notebook. Simple enough, I keep it by the bed and in my carry-on, and transfer everything to the PC once I’m back ‘at work’. I also put diagrams in the notebook.

2.) Smartphone. I use this the same way, minus diagrams.

3. www.rememberthemilk.com – this is great for any idea that has pre-defined action steps. I type them up and don’t bother putting priorities or due dates on them. I’ll get around to them once it’s time, and they’ll never get lost.

4. Google Docs – I have one big file with all my business-related ideas. No real formatting, no real order to it, all this has going for it is thoroughness. As long as I describe each idea adequately, I can search for it even if the document is too big to glance over.

Anyway, that’s how I keep my Brain Lightning at a steady 5,000 kilovolts!

Jeremy

reposted 5-7-2011

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Confession: I love hanging out with entrepreneurs more than any other single group of people. Entrepreneurs excite me, motivate me, inspire me, get me fired up!

This is something I just recently realized when relaxing with a few distant acquaintances.

“Brain, why am I disengaged from these people I am sitting with?”

“Jeremy, these people are BORING PLEASE LEAVE NOW LET’S GET ICE CREAM”

“Well, OK.”

Thing is, I was talking to people with whom I had very little in common, and I had refused to admit that to myself.

I like to be liked. Everyone does, to a degree. For me, this occasionally turns into, “Oh, look, a person. I like people, and all people should like me. I will waste my time now with this person.”

Can you say unproductive?

So here’s a few people I feel no obligation to hang out with in my personal time:

1. People that are always talking about the same thing, and never doing anything about it. I think this bothers me largely because I’ve been one of those people, and I know how unpleasant it is. Trying, failing, learning, starting over, improving? Now -that’s- attractive.

2. People whose values are antithetical to mine in active ways. For instance, I don’t feel the need to tolerate a vocal racist, nor do I bother with fanatical (fanatical= constantly harping) vegans. They annoy me, why should I spend my time being annoyed?

3.  I don’t need three reasons. Number 3 can go play in traffic. (Naw, 3, you know I don’t really mean that. I need you. I love you, baby. C’mon. Don’t be that way. I promise I’ll use you later.)

OH! That’s what was going to be number 3. (See, 3, I told you it wouldn’t be long!)

3. People who make me feel crummy. This group was typically comprised of people I felt I needed something from, but wasn’t being honest about that with myself. Realizing no one but me is responsible for my success (and my feelings) allowed me to be honest about these people.

BONUS 4. (Bonus because I thought of this after I’d written the whole post. See? Bonus.) People who don’t really have conversations. I mean the ones you can tell aren’t listening, they’re just waiting for others to stop talking so they can refocus the conversation on themselves. This is boring, and I see no reason to seek these people out. They are generally uninterested in growing, changing, learning. (Note: this doesn’t include people who are watching body language. Watching in the right ways counts at least as much as listening, in my book.)

5. Man, I can’t stop! DRAMA QUEENS! Yes, that should be all-caps. You know the people I’m talking about. Everything can be a catastrophe, everything an insult, an excuse to get angry, to be offended, to cry, etc. I don’t have the energy to deal with this stuff, or the people that create it. So, I don’t. I just avoid drama queens. I want to enjoy the people in my life, not endure them.

I’ve started going to a local entrepreneurs group here in St. Louis (www.meetup.com is awesome, by the way) to hang out with like-minded folks. The folks in this group give me GREAT new ideas, cool new ways to implement old ideas, a peek into other industries (hypnotists are boring marketers by-and-large), and new friends. As a bonus, I sometimes meet people with businesses that tie-in nicely to my own! I’m going to be playing business games with several friends I met at the last lunch.

Of course, there are a few in every bunch that are completely disconnected from reality – pitch-monsters, idea-baiters, and glad-handers, but I don’t waste any time with them. I am polite, friendly, and I move right along without feeling the slightest twinge of guilt. (Note: 3 years ago I would have listened ‘politely’ to their entire spiel and walked away from the event wondering why it was so boring…)

Why be bored? Why be offended? Why be anything but engaged, interested, and alive? I’m sure I can’t think of a reason. So choose your friends intentionally – you’ll be happier and more relaxed for it!

reposted 5-7-2011

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

This is hilarious, and very accurate too – I can see 6 things in this 12-word thought-bubble that would tend to cause low self-esteem!

http://www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com/cartoon/302

1.  “If” I succeed instead of “when”

2.  “When” I fail instead of “if”

3. Fault/Blame mindset instead of Responsibility/Consequences mindset causes people to take things way too personally

4. Fatalism – lack of control of her own life, too strong a belief in outside influences

5. Refusal/inability to accept responsibility for actions that produce good results

6. Refusal/inability to allow for mishaps, delays, and other environmental impediments

That’s a whole lot of stinkin’ thinkin’ for 12 words! Have I missed anything?