Old ad I posted to sell my truck

BUY IT FOR YOUR WIMPY SON! HE WILL LEARN TO DRIVE STICK, OR ELSE! HE WILL LEARN TO WORK HARD, OR HE WON’T BE ABLE TO AFFORD THIS 15 MPG FUEL-SUCKER! HE WILL LEARN TO BE CAREFUL WHERE HE PUTS HIS HANDS, OR THE CENTER CONSOLE WILL FALL OFF, EXPOSING A SHARP SPRING! WHICH WILL CUT HIM! HE WILL LEARN TO FIGHT OFF TETANUS!

YOU NEED A GREEN TRUCK WITH A RED DOOR FOR YOUR WIMPY SON! OR DAUGHTER! OR NEPHEW! OR JUST DRIVING AROUND THE YARD LIKE A GIANT AIR-CONDITIONED GOLF CART WITH A HUGE STORAGE AREA!

THIS TRUCK WILL MAKE YOU NERVOUS! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT MECHANICALLY EXCEPT BEING NERVOUS!

THIS TRUCK HAS A CRACK IN THE WINDSHIELD!
THIS TRUCK IS A PIRATE!
THIS TRUCK HAS UGLY PAINT!
THIS TRUCK IS EINSTEIN’S CAR’S GREAT-GREAT-GRAND-TRUCK!
THIS TRUCK HAS A BUSTED TAILLIGHT AND A DENTED TAILGATE THAT WORKS FINE!
THIS TRUCK HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR TEETH!
THIS TRUCK HAS NO HEADLINER!
THIS TRUCK DATED BRITNEY SPEARS (AFTER K-FED, SORRY)!
THIS TRUCK HAS NO SUN VISORS AND IS NOT A FRAT BOY!
THIS TRUCK NEEDS 1 BOTTLE OF POWER STEERING FLUID EVERY FEW WEEKS!
THIS TRUCK LOVES CHICKEN NUGGETS!
THIS TRUCK HAS MANUAL WINDOWS!
THIS TRUCK ALSO HAS A BLACK BELT IN WING CHUN KUNG FU!
THIS TRUCK HAS ONE GREEN DOOR AND ONE RED DOOR THAT LEAKS A LITTLE IN HARD RAIN! DRIVER’S SIDE!
THIS TRUCK IS ENDORSED BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND BY DENNIS LEARY’S CORGI!
THIS TRUCK HAS A WINDSHIELD WIPER THAT FELL OFF! PASSENGER SIDE!
THIS TRUCK HAS BEEN REPLACED IN MY HEART BY A CAR!

THUS, THIS TRUCK IS A ’95 DODGE DAKOTA! THIS TRUCK HAS 276K MILES!

THIS TRUCK’S OWNER’S CELL PHONE’S NUMBER IS 206-651-4368!

KINDA SILLY BUYERS ONLY! OR SERIOUS IS FINE TOO! JUST DON’T MAKE ME SEND YOU A LOADED TORTILLA TRAP IN THE MAIL!

ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS OR BEST OFFER! GROWING UP TOUGH IS PRICELESS! YOUR SON WILL BECOME RICH LIKE ANDREW CARNEGIE!

• Location: Barwick, GA
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests