reposted 5-7-2011
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
Just read about a cool term for something I’ve been doing for years now that’s really kept me going during some tough times.
Via http://marcishimoffblog.com/2009/03/31/the-happiness-hall-of-famer/
“My mom’s fantastic attitude is the perfect example of a new phenomenon I heard about this week called “brightsiding.” It’s based on the belief that although you can’t control the outer events of your life, you can control your outlook. The main components of brightsiding are expressing gratitude, maintaining a sense of humor, and enjoying time with the people you love.
Here’s how you can start brightsiding today:
1. Identify the most difficult situation you are facing right now.
2. List 3 things that you are grateful for about that situation.
3. Find one thing, no matter how small, that is humorous about what’s happening.”
On reading this I realized it’s almost -exactly- how I keep my cool about almost anything from ‘difficult’ people, to losing lots of money, to feeling less-than-optimal.
I’d add two things to this in order to round out my personal strategy:
1. Ask what I can learn from this experience, so it’s less likely to happen again, and
2. Call a friend if I’m having trouble maintaining my emotional balance – I’m always able to focus better when I can say things out loud to someone and have them laugh with me.
I vividly recall the first time this way of thinking was automatic – it was back when I was selling insurance, and was driving in an unfamiliar rural county. I got to the ‘bridge’ that showed up clearly on google maps, and there was (just as clearly) no bridge. Turns out some maps have a bridge because the state had -planned- on putting a bridge there, but never got around to it. I was suddenly late for my next appointment across the river, and lost to boot! As I drove around the lake, I remember laughing at how silly the whole problem was, and being so grateful that I got to drive around with my windows down in such beautiful countryside on such a glorious spring day. I never was able to re-set that appointment with the annoyed prospect, but it certainly hasn’t hurt me in the long run, and that memory is one of those ‘small treasures’ I’m glad to have with me.
Everyone’s heard the (somewhat fatalist) saying, “If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.”
I like my way better!